INTERVIEW:What do you think about the number nine?

Papyrus holding Sans to form the shape of a 9

nine's okay. but i kinda feel bad for how it ended up. y'know. seven ate it. SEVEN ATE NINE!? yeah. at least that's what the theorists are saying. I DON'T BELIEVE IT! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT SEVEN ATE NINE! SEVEN IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE COOL NUMBER! THEY WOULD NEVER DO THAT!! Umm, it's just a pun, Papyrus... 7? 8? 9? Like... um, the real number series? AH! I SEE! A PUN. THAT EXPLAINS MY BIZARRE LACK OF AMUSEMENT. WELL!! WHAT ABOUT THE COUNTERPUN!? FIVE SIX SEVEN... IF SEVEN IS SOME KIND OF COOL DOG-OR-WOLF... AND FIVE SICS SEVEN ON NINE... WOULDN'T THAT MEAN THAT FIVE IS THE REAL CULPRIT, AN IRRESPONSIBLE DOG OWNER, AND THAT SEVEN WAS JUST A MISLED ANTIHERO!? Umm... If Seven loved Five, maybe they were... ... just doing what they... felt like they had to... No. Seven was weak. Duty is no reason to harm another... Numbers are stupid!! I'll wreck 'em all!!! Get outta here, math! I, um, I like numbers... Don't worry Alphs, I'll leave 0 and 1. That way you can still do nerd stuff! so 111 1000 1001? 01010011 01000001 01001110 01010011!!!
let's step back a sec. if seven is a misled antihero... is negative seven a villain who thinks he's good? NO! YOU'RE STARTING WITH THE WRONG PREMISE!! WE NEED TO GO FROM THE MOTIVATION!!! COUNT!! so... negative nine negative eight negative seven. HMM... THIS TIME, NEGATIVE NINE NEGATIVE-ATE NEGATIVE SEVEN. So they spit 'em out? Well... If eating makes food go away... Perhaps negative eating is cooking? After all, making food and eating food add up to nothing. HMM... NOT IN MY BROTHER'S CASE. EATING ANY FOOD SEEMS TO GENERATE HAMBURGER WRAPPERS AND PEANUT SHELLS. hmm. okay, so for it to be the opposite of eating... negative eating is cooking, that also deletes trash. Maybe the trash is the thing getting cooked!? That'd use it up!! COOKING DISGUSTING GARBAGE... AHA!! IT'S JUST LIKE WHEN MY BROTHER MAKES FOOD!! So, um, following this formula... Negative-Seven... Is Papyrus, who had Sans (negative-nine) cook for him...? WHAT!? I'M THE VILLAIN!? hmm. maybe you seem like an enemy, but you're actually a good guy. WHAT? WHY WOULD I EVER BE AN ENEMY?
This was a very weird potluck. By the by, does anyone else want a ninth serving of escargot served in a shape of a nine? Does anyone want a first serving of vegetarian stargazy pie!? PLEASE DON'T EAT THE SPAGHETTI! IT'S STILL CONGEALING!! eh. seems normal to me.