INTERVIEW: PAPYRUS

Papyrus with sunglasses

Q: Cereal before milk Or after? (BeepMan)

Papyrus: MILK BEFORE AND AFTER!

Papyrus: CALCIUM IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY.

Q: I know Sans plays the trom-bone (wink!) but do YOU play any instruments? (Phineas)

Papyrus: WELL, AS HEARD IN MY HIT SINGLE, 'PAPYRUS'S COOL SONG'...

Papyrus: MY SINGING VOICE IS LIKE AN ORCHESTRA OF ITS OWN.

Papyrus: OTHERWISE, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN INTERESTED IN THE XYLOPHONE.

Papyrus: SOMETHING ABOUT ITS SOUND... TICKLES MY RIBS.

Q: How would you feel if you knew a friend was keeping something from you? (Felix)

Papyrus: ... KEEPING SOMETHING... FROM ME!?

Papyrus: YOU MEAN... LIKE KEEPING THE BONE I GAVE THEM AS A GIFT?!

Papyrus: DISPLAYING IT PROUDLY UPON THEIR HEARTH!?

Papyrus: I WOULD FEEL WARMTH AND PRIDE!!! PLEASE KEEP THINGS FROM ME!!!

Q: 小さい頃の写真を見せて!

Q: Can you show us a photo from when you were small? (けいな(にほんじん))

Papyrus: OKAY, HERE IT IS!

Papyrus: I'M SHOWING IT!

Papyrus: I'M HOLDING IT UP!

Papyrus: WHAT DO YOU THINK!?

sans: that's a photo of you cleaning the sink yesterday.

Papyrus: I GROW A LITTLE EVERY DAY!!!

Q: What would you do if Sans wasn't your brother? (Prunsel Clone)

Papyrus: YOU MEAN IF HE WAS...

Papyrus: MY MOTHER?

Papyrus: SANS, IF YOU WERE MY MOTHER...

Papyrus: WOULD YOU CUT UP AN APPLE WITHOUT ME HAVING TO ASK?

sans: yeah. i'd have to.

Papyrus: REALLY!? APPARENTLY, ONE THING WOULD CHANGE.

Q: dear papyrus, do you polish your skull? (Crowhead)

Papyrus: TRY MAYONNAISE FOR A PRISTINE SHEEN!

Q: What's your opinion on Macaroni and Mayonnaise? I believe it's a delicacy. (Rames Jandal)

Papyrus: MACARONI, I GIVE MY HIGHEST MARKS!

Papyrus: HOWEVER, MAYONNAISE IS A BEAUTICOUS OIL! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT THAT.

sans: i eat it.

Papyrus: CASE IN POINT!!!

Q: How does it feel to have such incredibly large muscles? Does it restrict your combat ability? (Zazel)

Papyrus: YES, AT FIRST, IT SLOWED ME DOWN.

Papyrus: HOWEVER, AFTER WEIGHTED TRAINING WITH MY BATTLE BODY...

Papyrus: MY STRENGTH HAS MADE ME NIMBLE AND ACROBATIC!

sans: he landed a kickflip for the first time the other day.

Papyrus: I LANDED A KICKFLIP!

sans: a half one.

Papyrus: A HALF ONE!!!

Papyrus: SHOW THEM THE VIDEO!!!!

sans: we recorded him lying on the floor pretending to do tricks and then edited him to look like he's flying through the air.

Papyrus: DON'T EXPLAIN IT LIKE THAT!!!

Papyrus: IT'S A TRAILER!!! WE'LL DO IT REAL LATER!!!

Q: Papyrus, would you smooch a ghost? (Fan The Can)

Papyrus: IF I WAS IN LOVE WITH A GHOST OR GHOUL, I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM!

Papyrus: EVEN...

Papyrus: ...

Papyrus: ... (blushing face)

Papyrus: BESTOW...

Papyrus: ...

Papyrus: ... (blushing face)

Papyrus: UPON THEM...

Papyrus: ...

Papyrus: ... (blushing face)

Papyrus: A KISS!

Q: 朝起きたとき、「今日は訓練の予定がある!」と思った後に訓練じゃなかったと知る気持ちと、最初から「今日は休みだ!」という気持ち、どっちの方が好きですか?

Q: Which is better, a day where you woke up thinking you'd have training but you didn't, or a day where you knew it was a day off from the start? (やっつん)

Papyrus: FOR ME, IT'S BETTER TO KNOW IF IT'S A DAY OFF FROM THE START!

Papyrus: I WOULD BE DISAPPOINTED IF MY TRAINING WAS CANCELLED...

Papyrus: UNLESS THERE WAS SOMETHING EVEN BETTER WAITING INSTEAD!

Papyrus: SO, THE BEST THING OF ALL, WOULD BE A SURPRISE PARTY...

Papyrus: WHERE I TRAIN WITH ALL OF MY FRIENDS!

Q: Do you catch yourself in your own traps? (TiagoxDPr)

Papyrus: BY ACCIDENT!? I HAVE NEVER DONE THAT!

Papyrus: I'M... TESTING THEM.

sans: want me to untwist the hammock?

Papyrus: THIS IS NOT A HAMMOCK! IT'S A BATTLE NET! AND AS YOU CAN SEE, IT IS VERY EFFECTIVE!

Q: Papyrus, if you had a pet what would it be? (Emily-anne)

Papyrus: NOT A DOG, THAT'S FOR SURE!

Papyrus: I'VE CAULKED THE WALLS, BUT ONE KEEPS GETTING IN HERE.

Papyrus: WE NEED TO PUT UP SOME NETS...

sans: you mean hammocks?

Papyrus: WRONG!

Q: Does pineapple belong on pizza? (JB SONIC)

Papyrus: YES! ALL FRUITS ARE FAIR GAME! INCLUDING THE FINE KIWI.

sans: pizza toppings, huh?

sans: he really likes corn and mayonnaise.

Papyrus: WHAT THE --- THAT WAS MAYONNAISE!? YOU SAID IT WAS 'AWESOME SAUCE!'

sans: sometimes it takes a trick to get you to try new things.

Papyrus: THAT TRICK ISN'T FOR UNHEALTHY FOOD!!!

Q: Have you ever thought about what you would look like if you were a Human? (ToonIRL)

Papyrus: HMM...

Papyrus: THE SAME, BUT WITH EVEN MORE HAIR...

Q: do monsters shower regularily or do they just kinda live the wild life (Ba <3)

Papyrus: SOME DON'T.

sans: hey.

Papyrus: AND SOME... DO.

Papyrus: ...

Papyrus: SOME... DO.

Papyrus: ...

Papyrus: THIS IS WHERE THE OTHER PEOPLE WHO SHOWER ARE SUPPOSED TO SHOW UP!!! WHERE ARE THEY!?

sans: in the shower.

Papyrus: OH, THAT MAKES SENSE.

Papyrus: BY THE WAY, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO BE DONE WITH YOUR BUBBLE BATH?

sans: when the bubbles run out.

Papyrus: I SEE. WELL.

Papyrus: YOU SEEM TO BE ADDING MORE BUBBLE SOLUTION.

sans: gotta get clean.

Papyrus: AND WHEN...

Papyrus: ARE YOU PLANNING TO GO IN THE WATER?

sans: just kinda playing it by ear.

Papyrus: JUST LET ME TAKE A SHOWER ALREADY!!!

Q: What would you wear for an elegant party? (KYO)

Papyrus: USING BLACK PAINT, ANYONE'S BATTLE BODY CAN BECOME A PARTY BODY!

Papyrus: TRANSFORM! TUXEDO MODE! THE TIE CAN BE REAL OR NOT!

Q: Omg!!! Hiii! Ok, okay! So, I absolutely love Sans, and NEED to know like what is Sans canonical height, is he shorty short or a bean pole?? (Desperately)

Papyrus: WHAT!? THESE QUESTIONS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FOR ME!!!

Papyrus: ... FINE! YOU KNOW WHAT, I WILL INDULGE YOU!!!

Papyrus: SANS!

sans: what's up.

Papyrus: HOW TALL IS YOUR CANNON???

sans: isn't the cannon yours?

Papyrus: FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS QUESTION, I AM... UGH, LENDING IT TO YOU!

sans: ok, ok.

Papyrus: SO HOW TALL IS IT?

sans: i guess as tall as a short bean pole.

Papyrus: OKAY! THERE YOU HAVE IT! NOW, REMEMBER, NEXT TIME ASK THE QUESTION TO ME, NOT THE CANNON!!!

Q: What was your life before you moved into Snowdin? (facadecake)

Papyrus: BEFORE SNOWDIN...?

Papyrus: HMMM... WELL, THERE WAS GREEN GRASS, AND...

sans: hey, shower's free.

Papyrus: FINALLY! SANS, FINISH THE QUESTION FOR ME!

sans: sure.

* (The question finished...)