INTERVIEW: PAPYRUS

(ROUND 2)

Image illustrated by Temmie: papyrus and sans doing the famous Mario and Luigi pose

Q: do you argue a lot with your brother? how do you guys make up? (miao)

sans: arguing, huh. can't remember ever doing that.

WHAT!? YES WE DO!!!

the two of us are the picture of peace.

WE'RE FIGHTING RIGHT NOW!!!

sans: guess 'cause papyrus is so easy to get along with.

I AM??? I MEAN, OF COURSE I AM! NYEH HEH HEH!

Q: Your best (and most chewable) skeletal feature? ((Legion of Little Puppies))

WHAT!? I HAVE NEVER BEEN CHEWABLE!!

BUT IF I WAS, I WOULD CONTAIN EVERY INGREDIENT AND NUTRIENT!!

AS FOR MY BEST SKELETAL MOTION FEATURE... ((Annoying dog begins chewing on a vhs))

IT'S DEFINITELY THE VERY FAMOUS SKATEBOARDING VIDEO WE FILMED LAST TIME!!

IT SHOULD BE RIGHT... HEY!!! ((The dog gets shocked))

IT'S ALL CHEWED UP!! WHO'S BEEN TEETHING ON MY TRICKS!? ((It looks to the left))

sans: gee, that's rough. ((The dog goes back to normal pose and stays that way))

SANS!!! HOW MAY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO CHEW ON MY VIDEOS!?

sans: uh, I think zero.

I SEE. THEN THE CULPRIT WILL REMAIN A MYSTERY, FOR NOW.

sans: think I might have a clue who it is. ((The dog is walking away and leaving))

WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I'M LOOKING FOR MY DETECTIVE COSTUME!! ((The dog is gone))

Q: What's the relationship like with your tiny friend Flowery? (Bobinsox)

OH, MY TINY FRIEND FLOWERY!!!

Flowey: It's FlowEY. No R.

YES! MY TINY AND SMALL FRIEND FLOWY.

Flowey: Whatever you say... Papayas.

WHO'S THAT? BASED ON THE NAME, IT SOUNDS LIKE WE WOULD GET ALONG!

Q: what is the coolest thing in your wardrobe?!? (jolyne)

HMM... LET ME WALK IN AND CHECK!

... I GOT IT!

IT'S ME!!!

sans: but what's the coolest thing outside your wardrobe?

HA! ONE STEP OUT AND...

IT'S ME AGAIN!

sans: but what about inside and outside your wardrobe?

ONE FOOT IN BOTH... IT'S ALSO ME!

sans: what about inside and outside your wardrobe and also on top of your desk?

FOOT IN WARDROBE, FOOT ON DESK, ME!

sans: and the ceiling?

HAND ON DESK, FOOT ON CEILING, FOOT IN WARDROBE, ME!

sans: and in your bed?

MOVE THE BED ON TOP OF THE DESK, HAND IN BED, FOOT ON CEILING, FOOT IN WARDROBE, ME!

sans: and standing just out of reach on your rug?

SANS!!!

sans: me?

Q: How do you feel about your brother being included in a certain monumental fighting game when you're the one who's obviously put FAR more legwork into training? (vide0gurt)

WHAT!? THIS MUST BE A FAKE AND ALSO JOKE MESSAGE!!

EVERYONE KNOWS MY BROTHER IS TOO LAZY TO EVER FIGHT ANYBODY.

IF HE WAS, FOR EXAMPLE, PUT IN A FIGHTING TOURNAMENT......

HE WOULDN'T EVEN THROW A PUNCH! INSTEAD...

HE'D PROBABLY TRICK SOMEONE INTO WEARING A COSTUME THAT LOOKS LIKE HIM!

... AND WHILE THEY WERE OUT THERE, DOING ALL THE WORK...

SWEATING AND SUFFERING FROM THEIR GRAVE COMBAT...

HE WOULD BE LOUNGING BACKSTAGE, CHATTING IT UP!!

EATING CONSPICUOUSLY TWO-DIMENSIONAL FOOD...

... AND CRACKING JOKES ABOUT THE BATTLE, LIKE 'I SURE AM BAD AT THIS, HUH!?'

AS A REWARD, HIS IMPERSONATOR ONLY GETS A HANDSHAKE!

HOWEVER, THIS IS MERELY A THEORY OF GAMES.

SINCE AFTER ALL, MY BROTHER WOULD NEVER BE INCLUDED IN A...

sans: hey, papyrus. have you seen an invitation around here?

AH?

Q: can you shoot lighting bolts papaya (Yazlowel)

SORRY, I THINK THIS MESSAGE IS INTENDED FOR FLOWERY'S FRIEND!

HE SOUNDS VERY COOL THOUGH. HE CAN FIRE LIGHTNING?

Q: What should I name my new cat? (Panini)

A CAT? YOU SHOULD CALL IT PAPYRUS!

BUT, YOU SHOULD THINK OF A CUSTOM SECRET NAME ALSO.

IN CASE THE BOTH OF US ARE IN THE SAME ROOM...

... YOU CAN CALL ME THE SECRET NAME, AND NO ONE WILL SUSPECT!

Mew Mew: You should totally name it 'Mew Mew,' mew!

SILENCE, PAPYRUS!

Q: Whats a circus (Clown)

YOU ARE A CLOWN!

THE PLACE YOU WORK IS THE CIRCUS!

AND YOU SLEEP ON A BIG BOUNCY BALL AT THE BACK OF THE TENT!

ALSO, YOU HAVE BEEN CAGED FOR BEING TOO ANNOYING!

sans: i get it, i get it. are you gonna read the question or not?

I'M GETTING TO THAT!

Q: You win a million dollars but you have to write in cursive for the rest of your life. Would you take the money? (Trevor)

HM... IT'S TEMPTING...

BUT THINK ABOUT IT. EVERYTHING YOU EVER WROTE...

WOULD HAVE TO BE IN SOME ANNOYING, DIFFICULT TO READ FONT!

IF I DID THAT LONG ENOUGH...

EVERYONE MIGHT EVEN START CALLING ME 'CURSIVE'!

THINK ABOUT THAT! BEING NAMED AFTER A WRITING STYLE!

IT'S RIDICULOUS! I MUCH PREFER JUST...

...

SANS, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT EXPENSIVE HAT?

sans: (wearing top hat and speaking in cursive) i dunno